Sleep and the Holidays
How to handle sleep for your baby when you are traveling or hosting visitors
It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's the time when we gather with friends and family, celebrate the season, eat too much food, and focus on our blessings. While all of these are generally amazing things, it can also be stressful when balancing all of the fun and your baby’s sleep!
Below are my best tips for managing your baby’s sleep this holiday season!
Start with an independent sleeper
This may seem obvious coming from a sleep consultant, but I truly believe having a child with solid sleep skills helps make the holidays and traveling more enjoyable. You don’t have to worry as much about how they will sleep at grandmas or will they be able to fall asleep with a babysitter putting them down to bed while you are at a work party. They have the skills. They know what to do. Therefore, you can go into the holiday travel and gathering season a little more at ease and rested yourself! If you are wondering how I can help, check out the options on my services page then send me an email to book!
Keep routines the same
If you are traveling or even hosting, aim to keep routines for your baby the same. Bedtime may get pushed a little some nights, but keep your routine the same. Don’t necessarily rush it or switch things up just because you may be in a different location or getting to bed a little later. As I always recommend, have a short, simple, repeatable bedtime routine that is easy to do anywhere and easy for anyone to do!
Aim to keep regular bedtime and nap times.
Sure, bedtime and nap times may get altered with holiday travel and gatherings, but as much as is in your control, aim to keep a regular bedtime and nap times. You will all enjoy yourselves much more if you have a rested baby. That may mean asking your family to eat just a little earlier for Thanksgiving or CHristmas dinner, or asking your friends to have Friendsgiving at a certain time to help with naps and bedtime, but don’t be afraid to ask for that! Most people are more than happy to help new parents anyway they can, even if that means changing the timing of events a little.
If your events coincide with bedtime or nap times, don’t be afraid to bring a pack and play and ask for a quiet room to set it up and let baby nap while you are enjoying a meal. It may feel funny to travel to a Friendsgiving event with a pack and play, but hey, weirder things have been brought to Thanksgiving gatherings. You can also utilize contact naps if baby will sleep in a baby wrap of sorts (ergo, moby, sollywrap, etc.)
Pack helpful items
Think through what your baby uses to sleep and nbe sure to pack it! Sound machine? Loveys? Sleep sack? Pacifier? Pack and Play?
I also think it is helpful to think through what “extra” items may be helpful to you at someone else's house. An extra sound machine? An extra monitor? An extension cord so there are enough plugs for all the gear?! I always like to be extra prepared just to help my stress levels (even at the risk of looking kinda crazy with my packing!).
And of course, I cannot forget my favorite travel baby product out there: the beloved Slumberpod. It was made for holiday travel. Easy to pack in a suitcase or throw in the trunk. Easy to set up and make it easy to share a room with your baby! Get $20 off your own using the code: heyabbysleepconsulting20
If a Slumberpod isn’t an option, bring some black trash bags and painters tape! That is an easy, harmless way to create blackout curtains in a room that may not have them! Easy to put up, and easy to take down!
Memories Matter
Yes, sleep is so important. You know I believe that. I mean, I am a sleep consultant after all. But, memories also matter. Take the trip. Go see Grandma. Sweat running through the airport with your baby to make the flight. Take pictures. Take so many pictures. Do not let stress or concern over your baby’s sleep deter you from making the trip. Even if sleep is a mess on the trip, try not to worry too much and enjoy your time with family. Your baby will get their skills back and you’ll probably look back on the time (eventually!) with laughter at the experience!
Relationships over Rules
I know I preach a lot about independent sleep skills, but I also like to abide by the relationships over rules slogan when it comes to my baby’s sleep. What I mean is that if Grandma wants nothing more than to snuggle her new grandbaby for a nap, let her do it! Even if it's for every nap on the vacation. It will be okay. Of course, you can have a conversation with your relatives about your sleep goals for your child, but know that other people are excited about your new little one too. Yes, you are the parent and make the rules for your baby, but don’t be too worried or obsessive about sleep that it takes the fun and joy out of having a baby in the family.
Monitor your Expectations
Keep your expectations low and you will be pleased. Expect sleep to not go perfectly. If we expect hiccups, it is a lot easier to deal with. I remember feeling so prideful of how well my kids slept, only to have them completely boycott napping in a crib at my parents house one holiday. I was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. In hindsight, no one else was judging me. No one else even noticed. I almost let that ruin my day, but instead, I just strapped him on for a nap and joined the family outside while the other kids jumped in the leaves. Expectations are everything.
Also, you notice and hear your baby’s crying much more than other people do. If baby is up crying in the middle of the night, chances are that others do not hear the cries! Try not to stress about waking others and intervene as you typically would at home.
Want more? Check out even more tips for specific situations and questions below!
Room sharing
Room sharing just seems to be a part of visiting family, and that is okay! My best tip is to try and create a separate area in the room if you can. Of course, I love the Slumberpod for this! It makes it so easy to room share and allows a dark sleeping space for your baby! If the slumberpod isn’t an option, I would bring items with you to help create a dark space like baby is used to at home! I have been known to travel with black trash bags and painters tape, or extra blankets to hang over the windows! If people aren’t used to having a baby in their home, they may not have the darkest curtains available to make a dark space! You can also look for “out of the norm” areas for baby to sleep. Can the pack and play fit in the bathroom? What about a closet (make sure there is air ventilation!)?
I also recommend bringing an extra sound machine if you are sharing a room. You still want to make sure they are at a safe decibel level, but often having one extra can provide an extra sound barrier in case you are coming to bed after baby is asleep.
Finally, don’t worry about waking baby. Of course, don’t be crazy loud or turn on all the lights, but babies can sleep through a lot!
Flying vs. Driving
Whether you are flying or driving to visit relatives, travel day is most likely going to be a wash (sorry to be a bearer of bad news!). It will probably be hard to get long naps and hard to even get naps when they are “supposed to be.” BUT that’s okay! Know your baby’s waketime windows and sleepy cues and help them get a nap when you can. Contact naps on the plane, carrier/stroller naps in the airport, and carseat naps while you are driving are totally acceptable. Expect naps to be 30-45 minutes and aim for extra naps as needed. I also highly suggest a travel sound machine! Turn that puppy on when you want baby to sleep to help drown out distracting noises and signal to them it’s time for a nap!
If you are driving, plan feeding stops so you can all get out, stretch your legs, and get baby a good feeding! One thing to focus on when traveling (driving or flying!) is to ensure that baby is getting all their daytime feeds. It can be hard to remember to get all the feeds in with the craziness of traveling, but set a reminder and don’t let baby skip over a feeding! Ensuring they are getting enough calories during the day will help with nighttime sleep.
Once you arrive at your destination, be mindful of how long baby has been asleep and aim to get them down around a regular bedtime.
When’s the best time to leave?
When the best time to leave is totally dependent on you and your family and how long your drive is! Some families like to leave at baby’s bedtime, drive a few hours, and transfer baby to a pack and play upon arrival. Others like to get baby a good morning nap and leave after morning nap. Some like to leave right at nap time and let baby nap in the car for their morning nap. When deciding when to leave, I would take into consideration how long your drive is, when you drive best, and how well baby sleeps in the car!
How to talk to your family about sleep!
This is a question I get a lot: How can I explain how important my baby’s sleep is to my family who just doesn’t seem to understand. I get it. It can be so weird to our parents' generation that we feed baby at a certain time and that baby goes to sleep at certain times and actually sleeps!! (how we all made it to adulthood is beyond me). There can be all sorts of comments made about our choices. “A sound machine? You didn’t sleep with a sound machine and you turned out just fine!” “A dark room? How sad you put a baby in a dark room.” “Time for a nap? But they don’t look tired at all!” You know the comments.
I want to encourage you to not worry about it. I know it can feel judgmental and weird, but you are the parent and you know your baby and what he or she needs and what you need. If what you have going with your baby’s sleep may be weird to others but is working for you, keep it up! You can make a joke about it: “I know it may be kinda crazy, but she is just sleeping so well that we don’t want to switch anything up!” or just straight up tell them what all you have learned about sleep and how that has impacted some sleep choices you have made for your baby.
One scenario that I feel comes up frequently is that it is time for a nap but baby “doesn’t look ready for a nap.” Maybe Grammy is playing with baby and having so much fun so she says “she doesn’t look ready.” But you know it is time. In that situation, I would either explain that you are trying to catch her before she is overtired so she’ll take a good nap and not be fussy later, or you can ask grammy if she’d like to hold her for that nap. I always want to base my conversations with relatives with the understanding of relationships over rules, but also balance getting good sleep for my kiddo because I am generally the one dealing with the consequences!
All in all, it can be hard to talk about the choices you are making for your child’s sleep, but ultimately, you are the parent and what you decide is okay! Be confident in your decisions and let your relatives be in awe at your baby’s sleep!
I truly hope you eat have the best holiday season with your little one. What a gift that we get to experience these special times with our little ones. Try to soak in every moment. Next year, they will be a year older. Treasure the times. Take a deep breath. Don’t stress about sleep and just enjoy your precious gift!
and remember, I am always here if you need assistance. Whether it’s getting back on track after the holidays or starting the new year with some sleep resolutions, I am here! It’s easy to book a consult! Check out my packages and email me to book!