Does My Baby Need to Learn Independent Sleep Skills?
Okay, the real answer is… maybe.
Is what you are doing working for you? THEN KEEP GOING! We want happy and healthy babies and families and that can look different for all of us.
Is sleep important for all babies, kids and adults? Yes, absolutely! But if what you are doing is safe and it works for your family to be happy, healthy and well-rested… then keep on keeping on!
So how do I know if independent sleep skills are the right thing for my baby and my family right now?
Here are 4 signs to look out for!
#1: Baby is suddenly taking longer to fall asleep than they were before.
Now, let’s assume the wake windows are right for your baby’s age, but if they are suddenly struggling to fall asleep with support in your arms or nursing, etc. then it could be that they are getting overstimulated by your presence and that’s causing the harder time falling asleep.
Often between 3-4 months old we see a shift in baby’s sleep rhythms and some of those babies that fell asleep easily when rocked or held to sleep suddenly just… don’t anymore! One of the reasons this happens is because babies have a significant shift in sleep cycle stages at this age. Around this age, babies move from their newborn sleep stages of just light + deep sleep to the 4 stages of sleep that we as adults have also. In the midst of this transition, they are also becoming so much more aware and experiencing a ton of developmental growth. These ingredients combined create the perfect storm for no longer falling asleep easily in someone’s arms.
#2: The transfer… isn’t transferring.
We all know the transfer trick: get baby good and asleep and then settle them down in their safe sleep space gently and whisk away to your favorite show (or straight to bed yourself!!). But when you start to lay baby down either drowsy or asleep and they wake right back up, causing you to continue your cycle over again, that’s a sign it’s time for baby to learn their own skills for healthy sleep!
#3: Night time wake ups.
Of course, newborns are expected to wake frequently, but after about 12 weeks we would hope to see very few or no night time wake ups. When baby is going to sleep fine at bedtime but waking frequently at night… we can tell that being soothed fully to sleep in someone’s arms is likely creating these interruptions.
#4: Short naps.
If you are finding yourself stuck with that dreaded 45 minute intruder… this is a sign! When baby is napping 30-45 minutes and you are either rescuing the nap to lengthen it or baby even wakes early while being held, it’s a good time to consider independent sleep skills.
#5: Squirmy sleep when being held.
As this need increases, you may find baby is squirming and just not as calm or comfortable when it’s time for you to rock or support them to sleep. Often this lets us know that developmentally they are ready to learn to fall asleep on their own.
So, it seems like my baby DOES need to learn independent sleep skills, now what?
Well first, make sure you are following us on instagram @heyabbysleepconsulting! We put out FREE content every week that can help support you as you learn and prepare to teach these skills to your little one. Check out this post about knowing when to implement independent sleep skills!
Second, reach out for a free discovery call or book one of our one-on-one consultations on our website. Abby and Jenna Claire are both certified infant and baby sleep consultants with over 8 combined years of experience. We work hard to get to the root causes of your kiddo’s sleep issues and set a strong foundation for healthy sleep for years to come! There is no greater way to meet a goal like new independent sleep skills than with a qualified sleep consultant on your side!!